Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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