Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
