I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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