Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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