Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
