$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I want to fling myself into the sun
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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