I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
