Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
