he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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