I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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