Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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