are you still at the devil's house?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
