i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
