I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You took a bar mat shot.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
