need another drink. this is the easiest way
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
