Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
