honey bunches of taint.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.