I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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