Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  what day is it and did you see me today?

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  (225): what day is it and did you see me today? http://tfl.nu/sgc7
  Replies (7) Good night (6248) Bad night (872)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading

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  (541): Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading http://tfl.nu/n2uf
  Replies (31) Good night (2315) Bad night (1321)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.

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  (716): i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am. http://tfl.nu/ap7z
  Replies (30) Good night (730) Bad night (4667)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.

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  (978): benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are. http://tfl.nu/ifpr
  Replies (4) Good night (4973) Bad night (628)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy

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  (240): I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy http://tfl.nu/3nw9
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (3487)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today

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  (321): Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today http://tfl.nu/s99h
  Replies (2) Good night (2276) Bad night (1009)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back

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  (817): We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back http://tfl.nu/9xp2
  Replies (8) Good night (1272) Bad night (1128)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.

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  (765): Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday. http://tfl.nu/5inc
  Replies (1) Good night (828) Bad night (640)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.

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  (415): I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy. http://tfl.nu/udyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1421) Bad night (823)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?

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  (215): One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew? http://tfl.nu/l1va
  Replies (1) Good night (1066) Bad night (310)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.

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  (772): I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty. http://tfl.nu/zh78
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (342)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.

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  (918): Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up. http://tfl.nu/f8tw
  Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (474)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos

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  (720): I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos http://tfl.nu/w3a2
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (592)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure

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  (678): If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure http://tfl.nu/x8g2
  Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (297)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.

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  (713): This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy. http://tfl.nu/xpy1
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (247)

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