Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason

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  (847): This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason http://tfl.nu/ngth
  Replies (24) Good night (816) Bad night (948)
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  (760): View more from California

  Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

  (760): View more from California

  I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

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  (760): Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool. (912): What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar? (760): I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out. http://tfl.nu/o1sk
  Replies (26) Good night (4635) Bad night (749)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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  (734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl
  Replies (118) Good night (38382) Bad night (1461)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina

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  (269): Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina http://tfl.nu/v4ze
  Replies (80) Good night (5327) Bad night (1176)
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  (831): View more from California

  I puked off the balcony.

  (1-831): View more from California

  Not horrible

  (831): View more from California

  Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.

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  (831): I puked off the balcony. (1-831): Not horrible (831): Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza. http://tfl.nu/7wv6
  Replies (11) Good night (2344) Bad night (9016)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  should I fuck that poor girl

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion

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  (770): should I fuck that poor girl (1-770): no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion http://tfl.nu/i8cj
  Replies (30) Good night (770) Bad night (4833)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.

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  (360): Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down. http://tfl.nu/bwrh
  Replies (17) Good night (6720) Bad night (854)
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  (315): View more from New York

  His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.

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  (315): His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians. http://tfl.nu/73dw
  Replies (13) Good night (6181) Bad night (1605)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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  (613): There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order. http://tfl.nu/vb6g
  Replies (23) Good night (5035) Bad night (903)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body

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  (281): I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body http://tfl.nu/esoz
  Replies (17) Good night (3330) Bad night (971)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...

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  (404): Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it... http://tfl.nu/ne4c
  Replies (10) Good night (4591) Bad night (930)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.

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  (732): I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked. http://tfl.nu/sxfw
  Replies (15) Good night (6074) Bad night (1963)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  where do you find these guys?

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  (413): he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight' (860): where do you find these guys? http://tfl.nu/yte1
  Replies (14) Good night (2782) Bad night (1184)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.

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  (410): Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips. http://tfl.nu/4phy
  Replies (2) Good night (1908) Bad night (615)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.

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  (580): I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots. http://tfl.nu/rb8t
  Replies (1) Good night (826) Bad night (284)

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