Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.