just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??