Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
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We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
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Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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