I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
