Please, let me fuck your mom
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
