I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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