I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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