Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories

(239): View more from Florida

He could rock you to sleep

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.

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(630): View more from Illinois

hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?

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(310): View more from California

When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.

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(216): View more from Ohio

wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?

(330): View more from Ohio

yes... and buy you lunch

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(516): View more from New York

That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.

(1-516): View more from New York

yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.

(516): View more from New York

Do you have to put it that way?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home

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(727): View more from Florida

Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"

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