Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
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I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
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Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?