I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.