Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire

Fav 6 1179 1985
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(650): View more from California

Why were you high on a thursday?

(1-650): View more from California

today's a wednesday

(650): View more from California

I asked first.

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(773): View more from Illinois

i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me

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(815): View more from Illinois

We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...

(847): View more from Illinois

And they lived happily ever after....

Fav 22 1961 5476
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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.

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(770): View more from Georgia

We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.

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(907): View more from Alaska

On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.

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(434): View more from Virginia

All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday

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(254): View more from Texas

I'm too high and old for this...

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