just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
