Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
