Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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