Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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