just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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