They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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