____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
