I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
