I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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