Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
