weddingsv make me drug and hornr
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
