I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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