Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
you made out with another girl for some wings
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
