Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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