The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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