It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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