does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
