I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
