wrigley field is MILF paradise
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
