I skipped work to stalk him.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize