They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
