Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
