wat bout pragnant strippers??
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize