it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
