you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I wear drunk well.
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