I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
