I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize