Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
