It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he thought i was a dude.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize