a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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