the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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