he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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