Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
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i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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