just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
