You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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