the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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