so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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